'Tis the season...

It is hard to believe that November is practically over and Christmas is almost here. You hear people say that the years have flown by, but this year in particular has sped by. It's insane!! For the first time in my life, I can't think of something I want for Christmas. Oh, there will always be the usual. Laptop, car, you know, all the expensive stuff lol. But this Christmas for some reason, I can't think of any little things that I want. I believe its because for the first time in my life I am truly content and....happy. Don't get me wrong, I was never depressed or anything like that, but finally I can look in the mirror and smile. And it's not forced. It's not fake. I'm actually smiling. I've found someone who loves me and thinks I'm beautiful even when I'm at my worst. I know my family has always loved me but it's different because you almost feel has if its because they have to. I realize this isn't true, but it makes me wonder if they weren't my family and they just knew me as a friend, would they love me? Well, he does. And I look forward to waking up in the morning and getting ready for school because then I get to see him. And it's great :) I must admit, I had feared that God's will for my life was for me to stay single. Of course, I know...I'm only sixteen. But I really didn't like myself. I felt I wasn't girlie enough. Or pretty enough. Or smart enough. Or talented enough. It was always something. Something always brought me down.
Wow, did I get off what I was talking about or what?! Went from talking about the holidays, to about my messed up thoughts lol. sorry.